Stefan: Lead So Radically They Wonder Why
There’s a quote by Jefferson Bethke that has always stuck with me: “Love so radically they wonder why.”
Recently, I scribbled this down and crossed out the word love, replacing it with lead.
Lead so radically they wonder why.
This small shift in wording speaks volumes. Radical leadership isn’t about being louder or more dominant—it’s about being rooted in who you are and how you show up in the world. It’s about showing up in a way that challenges and supports others to step into their best selves.
But here’s the thing: Many good people, leading great things, forget to look inward. They’re often so focused on their teams, their goals, their mission, that they don’t stop to ask: How am I doing, really?Am I still aligned with the person I want to be? What do I need to thrive?
This is where the work begins.
You’ve likely heard the analogy of the oxygen mask on an aeroplane: Put your own mask on first. It’s a simple concept, but it’s also crucial. You can’t lead effectively if you’re running on empty. To be a truly radical leader, one who can address the challenges of 2025 and beyond, you must first ensure that you are grounded and clear on your own values, purpose, and well-being.
The world in 2025 doesn’t need more business-as-usual leadership. It needs disruptors—leaders who aren’t afraid to challenge the status quo, who are willing to ask difficult questions, and who have the clarity and courage to change what isn’t working. From organisational struggles to global challenges, what got us here won’t get us where we need to go.
We need leaders who are willing to do the inner work to create real change. Leaders who lead from a place of deep self-awareness, so they can support others in becoming the best versions of themselves. Radical leadership isn’t about forcing change; it’s about inspiring it. It’s about seeing people for who they truly are and believing in their potential.
As a coach, I often work with individuals who are facing this very struggle. They come to me when something feels off. It’s not always about strategy or business tactics. Sometimes, it’s about reconnecting with their own sense of purpose and values. It’s about asking the right questions and making sure they have a firm foundation beneath them.
Who have I seen embody this in my work? I have been blessed to witness a number of my coaching clients over the years exemplify this—who springs to mind right now? Janet Hughes in her work at Defra. Simply purposeful to a 'selfless and cause-serving' degree.
Here are some of the questions I ask my coachees when it’s clear they’re facing a bit of a wobble:
What’s most important to you right now—and are you living in alignment with that?
Where are you leading from habit, rather than intention?
What part of you isn’t getting the attention it needs?
When did you last feel fully alive in your work or leadership?
Who are the people who inspire and challenge you—and are they in your corner?
These aren’t just surface-level questions. They go deep. They force us to stop and take stock of who we are and why we do what we do. Without these reflections, it’s easy to drift away from the kind of leadership that makes a real impact.
So, if you’re one of those leaders out there trying to make a difference, don’t forget to take care of yourself. Start within. Build that strong foundation. And lead so radically… they wonder why.
Stefan
If this resonated with you…
If this message resonates with you, and you’re one of the good people leading great things, let’s talk. Whether you’re feeling steady or in a bit of a wobble, sometimes the best next step is simply a conversation.
Get in touch—Book an inquisitive call here.
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I am…
An executive coach who specialises in helping good people lead great things.
Good people care about others, our planet and beauty. Great things are changes for the betterment of society and all that lives within an around it.
It sounds big and fun - it is.
I'm also an endurance racing cyclist and a go. getter.
You can read more about me and what I do; how I work here