Tools- 3 steps to Work AND Life Balance
Hello and thank you for reading this.
Today I’m gonna write about the topic of work and life balance.
The role of a coach is to disturb and provoke thought. You will regret the things you didn't do, more than you will the things you did.
You only find balance; by leaning into and deciding upon the balance you want. Plain and simple.
What follows are the three elements which I see consistently help my coachees to find greater balance in and between work and home life; in and between - work, rest, play and sustenance
I know only too well the impact of not ;’sorting this’.
If you’re struggling with this; don’t wait - drop me a note as stefan@stefanpowell.co.uk today.
Stefan
How do my clients create work and life balance?
Many of my clients have incredible workloads, significant responsibility and spans of control and want desperately to have more time for themselves, their families and for down time. And maybe a little time for exercise and time in the outdoors too.
Work and life balance means having a balance of how you spend your time in work and how you spend you time away from ‘it’ and having consciously chosen how those two impact upon one another.
When you don’t have work and life balance, you feel tired, pulled from pillar to post and you work at sub optimal levels. On top of this, when you are home. you can feel that you are a disappointment to those around you and yourself because you cannot find the energy and motivation you need to find joy in what you do.
When work and life is out of balance be it one, the other or both you might, for example, find eating, a chore. Eating can become a soulless act used merely to fuel your body rather than your spirit. In this case, you eat to satiate your body and the hunger which your body craves. But those cravings are not for food. No, they are for sugar which in turn is a craving for rest, energy and joy.
When work and life is out of balance; you may find that making time for friends is more of a keeping face or not letting people down - and so you show up inspire of your feelings rather than because of them. Alternatively, you may wish to spend as much time with your friends as possible - drinking more than is healthy to numb the memories of work tomorrow or next week (at the weekend).
When work and life is out of balance’; you may need to exercise, even want to exercise, but you simply dont have the energy or you can’t motivate yourself to go. When going is the thing you need to do most.
When work and life is out of balance; your patience for yourself and those around you can diminish, effecting relationships, loved ones and your own levels of self esteem because tired and weary you begin to misinterpret your own thoughts as well as conversations. This in turn, turns to silence, words unspoken or choosing the wrong words - perhaps at a time when word and tone choice are imperative to those whom you are speaking to.
Now the good news is that this can all be addressed; because the knowledge. skills, habits and beliefs which enabled you to be so successful that you are asked to take on so much work, to juggle home and work life and have a family, friends or loved ones - are the very same skills you need to create balance in home and work life. The foundation stones of which are; prioritisation, time boxing and saying no (until ‘tomorrow’.
Outliers
Before we go any further, it’s important that we ackowledge that there are social media and community outliers who make this all look easy, in the gym at 5, work by 7, working through important meetings until, 7 and then back home for amazing photos of lunch dates with their family. If this is a trie picture of their lives then let me tell you; they are either one of life’s outliers - the 1% who have superhuman powers and are gold medalists in work and life balance. Or they are more ruthless in following the principles I outline below.
The third option is that it’s all for show; an external show of happiness does not mean an internal one and even if YOU are happy, it doesnt mean those you love most in the world are too.
So how do we create work and homelife balance
Follow these three steps; and apply time boxing to home as well as work life.
Step 1. Priortise life
The biggest change that I help my clients to make is to prioritise what is most important in their life.
Invariably they find something like this order works best; in my experience - there is no other way.
There is a but however and that is that at times in a week, month or calendar year temporarily one or more of the topics below can come to the fore - shit happens and work does put food on the table.
But there is a bigger but - you simply cannot pair from an empty cup and after work has stopped, the ‘only’ thing thing you have left is those you love; any choice you make to make a temporary alteration to the order of priority should be discussed with those nearest and dearest, time bound and safety mechanism put in place.
Do not lose your loved ones or yourself in the service of work.
Here is the priority in life;
You Yourself - You cannot put from an empty cup, a tired parent shows tired habits.
Your Family - Loneliness is one of the biggest killers; don’t.
Your Friends - You need someone to let loose with; family don’t need all of your warts and all.
Your Work (and the activities within it) - There is stuff to give your time too and stuff you shouldn't .
When you make a conscious decision to prioritise life in this way; and work comes last - performance on all fronts is often enhanced; you simply become more focused and ruthlessly time efficient.
When you make a conscious decision to prioritise life in this way; and work comes last - You make decisions based upon need, not want and when you know you have a weekend of friends and family and a ride out on your bike and you have no time for work; you will work more effectively to do it in the week. That is the contract you need to make with yourself.
2. Time block
The 2nd biggest change I help my clients to make is to time box time for each of the priorities in theor week or on a bi-weekly calendar; including work functions and then use these ‘boxes’ to time box their key tasks. I for example:
Block out when I will do sport and when I have the children
Block when I will see friends and family
Block when I am available to do coaching, calls, mentoring and reflection as well as admin time to get the ‘back office stuff done I need to too.
Block out meal and break time between activities
Work out what my to do list is, Categorised for each of the above elements, and I write a by when time needed next to it and then prioritise it - I then place that block of time in my diary.
Set a timer and work to that timer - a sense of urgency and a time bound goal works wonders.
I know this feels rigid; and it is - I've found that there is enough flexibility in when and how I allocate the back office tasks as well as working out when I have energy levels for coaching, calls, admin work etc. I prefer to do admin in the AM and I like coaching PM - why? I'm more relaxed.
There are some clients I coach first thing - they're punchier and I’ll do it as somedays, I need the early AM adrenalin.
This approach works consistently for my clients, it takes time to a) commit to b) get the shape of the week right and c) make it a habit. The great news is that reviewing this at the end of the Montana nd making iterations every quarter means you can review progress, create marginal if not transformational gains and its something you can role model for your team, peers and those you hold nearest and dearest to you.
3. Carry Over
The final and one of the biggest changes you an make in realising work and life balance is what I call ‘acquiring the carry over’ philosophy.
Yo learn to do what can be done in a working day 9-5 and you carry over what couldn’t be done until tomorrow. It’s that simple.
Of course there are times when this might not be possible, but a foundational stone in life has to be that you start at an agreed time and you end at an agreed time. 6-2, 8-4 you name it but it keep you healthy, time wealthy away from work and forces you to choose what does and doesnt get a slot in your work diary.
If it dont help you scale the mountain, the boat go faster or make things easier for you, your team and your customers - it should t be in there. Plain and simple.
That philiosophy is based around the fact that; you can only do what you can do. Anything not completed within the time frame will be carried over, stakeholders and colleagues communicated with - it’s time to go home.
Agreeing more resonable timescales and lowering expectations against unreasonable timescales is key. If you don’t you will always be a slave.
This final element - carry over - takes self belief, contracting and an agreement with oneself that if this is happening consistently and the to do list never shrinks, expectations need to be managed better and you need to become better at developing those around you to taken on responsibilities and activities that you simply cannot carry based upon the breadth and complexity of that which you have oversight of; in your leadership role.
Falling off the horse
Now, the above is an ideal to work towards; It doesn’t always work and my clients fall off the horse too.
The key is working towards this, getting as close to this as you can and congratulating yourself when you do.
it’s also about collaboration and partnership; talk to your family about your plans, make conscious choices and agree priorities with your boss and execute.
If you fall off the horse, acknowledge it, adjust and reset. You’re human.
A wise person once said to me that "you don't have to be great top get started but you do have to get started to become great"
I’m here if I can be that person for you
Stefan
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I look forward to sharing my next OPINION blog soon.
For now; thank you
I am…
An executive coach who specialises in helping good people lead great things.
Good people care about others, our planet and beauty. Great things are changes for the betterment of society and all that lives within an around it.
It sounds big and fun - it is.
I'm also an endurance racing cyclist and a go. getter.
You can read more about me and what I do; how I work here